4s go down to Hawick
The Carlton Positively 4th XI faced an outing to the Scottish Borders to face Hawick and Wilton CC in the latest dream encounter served up by the fixture supremos of the ultra-super-elite ESCA Positively Division. In preparation your correspondent spent some time in the national Library of Scotland researching the works of Sir Walter Scott in particular his preparatory drafts of the Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border, his celebrated anthology of Border ballads first published in 1802. He was surprised to find the verses below which seem unjustly to have been excluded from the original edition.
Your correspondent understands that there is a lobby amongst his admirers who demand more factual material about the cricket match rather than other stuff even, or is it particularly, asides on the bowling action of the great composers.
For those readers who wish to know the historical truth on which the poet’s fancy expands – Carlton won the toss and inserted the opposition (the poet neither records the skipper’s great skill in securing this win nor does he praise the decision to insert the opposition as appropriate on looking at the damp and green surface.) Hawick scored 169 for 8, with their skipper Ronan Alexander scoring a well-made 55. The skipper took 3-20; Ewan Hutchinson 3-21 – both spurning hattrick opportunities (with spectacular ineptness in the skipper’s case). Jaimie took 2 excellent high catches. Carlton’s batting never got going. There was a good stand between Al Murray (22) and Euan Keatinge (21) but both got out just when they could have gone on and made things interesting. Carlton were all out for 107.
The minstrel’s version of these events:
Some sing o’ lords, some sing o’ lairds
And sic like men o’ high degrees
But I maun sing o’ the lower sort
The Carlton Positivelys
To Hawick toon they venture south
As the fixture list’s ordaining
With some astonishment because
For once it wisnae raining
The toss the skipper taks with ease
He wins wi’ great precision
And with the wicket green and saft
There’s nae doubt in his decision
Jamie and Ivan launch the attack
The batters staunch resisting
The skipper’s noble brow is creased
The youngsters need assisting
It’s mony a year and sev’ral more
He’s had to bowl an over
But whan the wind blows ‘cross the pitch
He’s like a lamb in clover
The batsman hears the rattle o’ death
That inswinger – once world famous
Brings two in two – the hattrick’s on
But the next ball only shames us
Nae luck for Charlie nor for Hutch
Hawick reach sixty – thirsts are slaken
Then Ivan hits the seam at pace
The edge by Eric safely taken
An luckless day for Nahum too
Beats the bat oft but sadly fails
To deliver that coup de grace
To bring down to earth the bails
Jamie taks two starry catches
Firm and true as the ball descends
Hutch sweeps the tail – he smiles again
And the Hawick innings ends
One seventy to win the match
The Positivelys feel they’ll do it
But third ball up Gav feathers behind
And trudges off to rue it
Hawick’s bowling’s too precise
Eric and Paul back in the hutch
At 21 with three men doon
The runs required may be too much
But Al and Keatinge Minor work
And set about recovery
They fight for freedom, for justice
And against death by slavery
That last bit might be a tad o’er the top
But ye’ll allow poetic licence
For they bat well, wi’ skill and flair
And not a little common sense
But alas that sense deserts them baith
First Keats chasing a wide one is caught
Then Al goes for a risky second
A direct hit – he’s two yards short
Seventy two for five men lost
Grandchildren will hear the legend told
The cause may be gone but glory bids
As each batting point is solid gold
So Hutch Charlie and Jamie
Show skill and determination
Making the score respectable
Avert absolute ruination
So there oor Border venture ends
The Positivelys sixty two behind
But a fine sunny day – a game to enjoy
When all’s is done, what’s there to mind?
Some sing o’ lords, some sing o’ lairds
And sic like men o’ high degrees
No joyful song of victory
For the Carlton Positivelys