336 for 4 (45 overs)

Nathan Pietsch 86, Matt Wells 62, Liam Prescott 59, Akeel Aslam 50, Grant Newman 47*

home

(GL)

130 for 4 (45 overs)

Nathan Pietsch 2 for 17

246 for 5

Peter Swan 132, Alex Fedenczuk 42

home

(M)

127 all out

Chris Hoefling 4 for 39, Chayank Gosain 4 for 42

96 for 8

(David Rush 3 for 18)

93 all out

(Amit Bij 28, Akeel Aslam 22)

And so to Roseburn, location of the rich and famous. Of the Rugby world, that is. Those of us residing in Division 5 of the ESCA, and keen to escape its stale inertia, were looking for a third successive win of the season. Alas, dear reader, it was not to be.

When Saif lost his wicket to the first ball of the innings, it spelled a sign of things to come. The one redeeming partnership of Akeel and Amit saved the team's blushes on a card that contained only 5 scoring batsmen. Our old friend, Extras, topped the chart with 31.

DAFS' chase was made harder by Kidd's resolution to finish the game quickly, which after a few boundaries, led to his own wicket being finished off. This was the breakthrough we needed. Panic enveloped the batting line-up like custard over sponge, except this angel gave us no delight. Credit on the bowling front should go particularly to Rush, and in the field to all, for fighting valiantly, albeit in vain, to the bitter end.

Scorecard

150 all out

Amit Bij 48, Grant Newman 25

home

(M)

163 all out

Akeel Aslam 3 for 38, Saif Azhar 2 for 12, Neil Irvine-Hess 2 for 16

While other correspondents referred to the day as hot, this Antipodean correspondent considered it to be a mild, pleasant day with the match played in a beach cricket atmosphere on the Meadows.

With the new 3rds skipper winning the toss and deciding to bowl (the major consideration being the lack of crowd control and the threat of constant pitch invasions from the large and what could only be described as a typical MCG Bay 13 crowd) the attack opened with the experienced Rushie (1 wicket) and the young tearaway Neil Irvine-Hess (2 wickets), who was making his first appearance for the 3rds this season and it wasn’t long before both bowlers found their range and a steady stream of Accies batsmen began making their way back to the boundary.

With Neil rested after 5 overs, there were not many volunteers coming forward to bowl, given that the leg side boundary was less than spitting distance from the striker's end and it was left to Seb to take up the challenge, delivering  2 wickets in his seven over spell.  Pressure was maintained as wickets continued to fall steadily (Akeel - 3 wickets / Saif - 2 wickets) but due to the closeness of the boundary Edinburgh Accies maintained a run rate above 5 an over throughout their innings posting a credible score on the Meadows wicket of all out 163.

In reply Carlton approached their innings with confidence, the pitch having played reasonably well during the Accies innings and with a batting line-up that stretched all the way down to 11 it was clearly a matter of Carlton applying our minds to the task at hand.

Alsam and Wells opened the innings and immediately had to contend with a 6’ 10” opening bowler who delivered the ball from such a height that picking the length would prove difficult. Those readers who can recall the great West Indian player, Joel Garner will have an accurate picture of what we were facing. Unfortunately Aslam was bowled early on by one that nipped back, complaining that he couldn’t see the ball through all the bar-b-que smoke that was constantly drifting across the pitch. Matt Wells and Alex then set about building a partnership and just as they looked set, both lost their wickets in quick succession. Again there was a need to rebuild the innings and Amit took on the challenge, playing some glorious pulls and drives for six with the support firstly from Kyle and then Grant. However with the match starting to swing Carlton’s way we again lost quick wickets leaving the difficult task of scoring the last 30 runs to Joss Beharrell and Neil. Their approach was sensible and considered, playing the good balls, scoring off the bad, and the mood on the boundary line lifted, but the task left by the earlier batsmen was too great and Carlton fell short of the target by 13 runs.

A first for this correspondent that must be mentioned was the “need” to take drinks every 15 overs due to the “conditions”. I dread to think what will happen if we actually play in hot weather: Saline Drips? 

Scorecard

219 for 6

Simon Spry 104 not out, Matt Wells 44

home

(P)

117 all out

Akeel Aslam 3 for 16, Josh Walker 3 for 38, Kyle Macpherson 2 for 3

It was with great anticipation that the 3rd XI travelled to Peffermill having been advised that a good batting track was to be expected and that runs for the batsmen were there for the taking. 

Skipper Grant Newman won the toss and chose to bat and was immediately rewarded with an enterprising opening partnership between Simon Spry and Matt Wells that ensured that run rate never dropped below 5.5 an over. With the fall of Matt’s wicket however, for a well compiled 44, the rest of the Carlton batsmen soon found the batting was not as easy as the openers had made the game appear as first Kyle, Ross Burns, then Akeel and finally Grant all struggled to come to terms with the pace of the wicket and succumbed to the nagging line and length of the Holy Cross medium pace and off spin. 

Fortunately for Carlton, Simon continued to pick the gaps and with an obvious penchant for running between wickets took great pleasure in stroking the ball almost to the boundary and then pushing some of his more mature, or is that older, partners to turn easy ones and twos into two’s and threes. 

Given such a bright and breezy start to the innings, there was some disappointment on the boundary as the run rate slowed, but with the departure of the middle order, Joss Beharrell and Seb Rae joined Simon and again picked up the scoring, and the pace of the running between wickets, to see Simon through to a well deserved, unbeaten century (104 n.o.). 

With a score of 219 for 6 from the allotted 45 overs the bowlers sensed they had some runs to play with. The tea time talk was clearly focussed on restricting the runs in the first 10 overs in order to build up the pressure on the Holy Cross batsmen and both Josh Walker and Iain Martin turned these words into action restricting the Holy Cross openers to 32 runs from the first 10 overs. 

The whole team could sense the batsmen’s frustration building and with some agile fielding keeping the runs down, wickets began to fall. First Josh (3/38), then Akeel (3/16) and Seb Rae (1/20) picked up wickets by bowling good line & length. With wickets falling and the run rate drying up the skipper was able to introduce Alex Fedenczuk (1/13) and Kyle Macpherson (2/3) to the attack who quickly mopped up the tail. Holy Cross all out 117. 

While the 102 run win was achieved on the back of a great century by Simon, the result was a real team effort and testament to all the bowlers bowling an impeccable line and length, clearly demonstrated by the fact that nine of the Holy Cross batsmen were either Bowled (7 dismissals) or LBW (2 dismissals). Aligning this to a solid ground fielding performance resulted in a great result and provides a solid platform from which to build for the remainder of the season.

Scorecard 

290 for 8

Nick Martin 91, Charles Paterson 35, Matt Wells 31

home

(I)

MATCH ABANDONED

With several players looking to prove a point after being left out of the 2nd XI, it was a powerful 3rd XI that faced Stirling County at Inverleith Park on the unpredictable astroturf. With a scorching day ahead we wanted to bat - Stirling won the toss and promptly chose to field, so everyone was a winner.

Matt Wells and CP set off at a rate as hot as the weather, exposing the division 5 attack with some cracking drives and pulls. Wells looked set for a big score until he charged down the pitch on 31 and missed a lollipop from the opposition skipper, comprehensibly stumped by the bounce and the keeper. Rajan strolled in and was soon strolling back after being yorked, but Benny Stewart looked in good nick as the scorerate climbed. After the skipper was caught for a solid 35, Nick "Boom"/"Drummo"/"Prop" Martin (how many nicknames is one man allowed?) joined Benny and the two of them ran the opposition ragged in the sunshine. It was too much for Ben who retired before his fifty but Nick powered on aided by the lower order, until he holed out in sight of a well-earned century. Some big hitting at the end from Akeel and Ferg pushed us onto 290-8, a formidable total for a tired team to chase.
 
In reply Stirling started like a train, helped by some frankly average Carlton bowling, reaching seventy inside ten overs. The target was there for the taking but a cool bit of fielding from Josh for a runout, and then a cracking ball from the same man to dismiss the number three pegged Stirling back. Cheeky and CP began to turn the pressure on with some tight bowling and the spinner bagged a wicket, but then disaster - the heavens opened and it was all over. Stirling dodging a bullet in this game as they were behind the runrate, but there was no way play could go on, and the 3rd XI remain infuriatingly within touching distance of the top of the table. The big question posed by Nick Martin - do his 91 runs count as fantasy points?!...  [They do! .Ed.]

Scorecard 

74 all out

Fergus Whatley 4 for 28, David Rush 3 for 12, Brad McKay 2 for 12

155 all out

Amit Bij 45, Alex Fedenczuk 29, David Rush 24

Another glorious summer day in Scotland greeted the 3rds trip up to Falkland. After negotiating the skipper’s directions (which didn’t actually lead us to the ground) we all managed to turn up to the most picturesque of grounds.

After most of the home team had arrived, and Akeel duly lost the toss, we were put into bat on a wicket that seemed fairly green and slow. How wrong we were. The two Falkland openers were bowling with good pace and hostility; the two standing umpires even had to give warnings for too many bouncers! After Akeel and Saif had departed, it was left to Kyle and Craig to try and build up another partnership. Unfortunately it didn’t last too long, and again it looked like a monumental Carlton batting collapse was on the cards when Kyle and Craig went with the score only on 28. In strode the mercurial Amit, who seems to always be able to get a decent score. Alongside Fed, they managed to start to build a partnership, with some great stroke play from Amit, and a gritty performance again from Fed. When Alex departed after a rash shot, the score was at 102, however Amit also decided to join him 2 overs later, only adding another 4 runs.

However, we now had “Boom-Boom” Whatley and Rushy at the crease now, so what could go wrong! Well unfortunately, the “Boom” never came and he was caught in the covers, getting a healthy toe on a cover drive. “Drummo’s” younger brother (aka Iain Martin) then came in, and after hitting a wonderful cover drive for four, took his eye off the ball and was bowled. After this there was a small period of Carlton insanity that brought an end to our innings. First of all a “diving” (using this word in a loose sense, it was more a trip) Abi was run out after being sent back. Then Craig, a boy who knows all about dodgy LBW decisions, handed out one of his own, as Rushy was about two miles in front of his stumps. So this ended the Carlton innings on 163 with Brad upping his average with a handy 1 not out.

After a lovely tea, the Carlton bowlers were raring to go on a track that looked to offer a lot of assistance. Brad and Rushy opened, with both only allowing one off each of the first two overs. Then the pressure really started to tell, and a spectacular wicket fell. Rushy bowled a peach of a delivery, and Amit made a fantastic catch at second slip, moving faster then he had all day. This fired up Carlton even more and the bowling became even more tight, with only 7 runs coming off the first 6 overs.

Then Brad made a double breakthrough, bowling two batsmen in a fantastic over. Then things got better in the next over when Rushy did exactly the same. However, the pace bowlers were not the only ones to get in amongst the wickets, when finally Fergus came to the party. Bowling well, and getting good turn and bounce, “Boom-Boom” bowled 9 tight overs, taking four wickets, including a freak caught behind when the ball got lodged inside Craig’s grill [Hope Tom Rutherford isn’t reading this - Ed]. This great spell left only the opener, Bell out there, and on 36 he went to the part time leggies of Kyle, who finished with great figures too

.

Scorecard 

185 for 8

Charles Paterson 2 for 6, Brad McKay 2 for 26

188 for 2

Seb Rae 82 not out, Ross Burns 48 not out

Scorecard 

441 for 5 (45 overs)

Ross Burns 129, Nik Hunt 112, Seb Rae 68, Matt Wells 41

home

(I)

127 all out (22.1 overs)

Chayank Gosain 4 for 18, Mo Ahmed 2 for 20

The down side of playing for the mighty Carlton Threes is that a ‘home’ match for us doesn’t mean a day spent in the luxury confines of Grange Loan; rather it means a trip to either The Meadows or today’s venue, Inverleith. On pitching up, instead of the fragrant aroma of the Grange Loan hanging baskets, the ground smelt like compost ... and there was no boundary marked. Luckily, the skip had dropped off at Sports Warehouse on his way to the game and had some boundary markers with him. [Is there anything this man doesn’t have? Ed]

Akeel was happy with a solid, strong team, having nicked Leigh Kasperek and Aussie Neil Browning from the Fours, and welcoming back Neil Irvine-Hess with his usual lightning speed and bag full of enthusiasm.

In hindsight, there was a tell-tale sign of things to come when the opposition sat down to watch our pre-match warm-up! Good to see the players out on the park for 12 o’clock and focusing on the game, Keep it up.

The skipper then lost the toss and the opposition put Carlton into bat ... a decision that pleased the home side and would go down as one of the biggest mistakes in East of Scotland league history.

Matthew and Seb batted in style, with Seb taking off from where he finished off last week. The openers’ strong batting partnership saw us cruise to 86 off the first 10 overs. However, not quite content with that, the team decided to up it to 10 an over.

Under strict orders, Cheeky and Nelly were trying their best to keep the book right while the scoreboard fizzed over. The task was getting beyond them and at one point they had to shout out to the umpire to stall the bowler so that they could keep up with completing all the columns!

The highlight of Rosco’s innings was the cheeky wee grin he gave when he twice launched three consecutive sixes as if to say “I’m gonna hit six sixes in an over”. The bowler saw this and not wanting to make the history books opted to bowl wider on the off side.

Nick Hunt’s innings was just majestic; he kept the strike ticking over providing the perfect support for the slaughter at the other end. Once Ross had departed eyeing up 200, Nick showed that he wasn’t short of attacking shots, and kept the run rate flowing like a river.

At one point the opposition asked the Carlton skipper to consider declaring after 27 overs when the score had reached 250, offering the opinion that we’d scored more than enough. A brief discussion with Nick Hunt when he’d reached 50 resulted in a consensus that we quite enjoyed scoring at 10 an over.

Leigh also batted well with some glorious shots, and was a touch unlucky to get out with the ball holding up. All in all a fantastic effort to rack up Carlton’s highest ever limited over score.

From a bowling/fielding point of view we did the job well with great effort (Not sure if 11th man who decided he had to dash off to a rock concert was going to make a difference). Mo bowled well, with a great line and length as expected from Mr Momentum. The other highlight was undoubtedly Cheeky with his Habs impersonation “MAN”!! “I’m gonna clean them up”. Good job Cheeks – sounded just like him.

The captain’s only main concern was the slogans of encouragement – i.e. how to keep them politically correct… ‘Come on boys – em and girl, oh lady em … I mean guys, no I mean team em I mean Carlton! Sorry Leigh ...

Top marks also to Charlie, Leigh’s dad , for a wonderful tray of delicious sandwiches and for helping out.

For all involved it was a great game; you were all party to making a piece of Carlton’s history to be very proud of. Well done lads ... I mean team!!

Scorecard 

149 for 8

Josh Walker 4 for 16, Leigh Kasperek 2 for 18

home

(GL)

153 for 5

Cranston Watts 62, Akeel Aslam 29*

Crannie Watts reports ...

Only being up in Edinburgh for one weekend a year I was very keen to get a game but with so many good youngsters about I was forced to bribe Gilly into giving me a game by offering to pay £1 to the nets fund for every run I was short of a hundred.  When I got the email
saying I was playing I realised my mistake, as with the school holidays I probably would have got a game anyway and also having hardly batted all year I was probably going to be seriously out of pocket!

After a thorough warm up, Akeel won the toss and put SMRH in on a green looking pitch.  Opening up, Josh soon had the batsmen in trouble with a very fiery spell.  Despite the pitch being very green, Josh managed to extract considerable pace and bounce and none of the
batsmen looked comfortable facing him.   In the last over of his spell, he bowled a well disguised slower ball which bowled one of the openers, at which point Josh looked bemused and commented that the last two times he has bowled a slower ball he had gone for 6!

Haris then came on and bowled brilliantly, showing excellent control and produced a large amount of spin, with the batsmen playing him like he was an on form Shane Warne with 4 men round the bat!  Haris was well supported by Leigh, Gair and Mo who all consistently bowled in good areas giving the batsmen very little to hit.  Then, despite showing good leadership all throughout the game, Akeel had a rare lapse of concentration and brought me onto bowl.  Like the other bowlers, I also bowled in the same area consistently, but sadly that area was knee high on leg stump and the batsmen duly dispatched me to the mid wicket
boundary repeatedly!    The teams bowling was so tight (apart from my overs!) that despite a couple of bottom hand heavy swipes in the last few overs, SMRH were restricted to only 149, which looked gettable despite the green wicket.

I opened the batting with Matt Wells and he soon got the team off to a positive start before mistiming a pull shot to square leg.  Neil then came in and looked positive again but was soon out to a good ball that moved off the pitch.  Leigh also looked to be in good touch and
was unfortunate to be out.

Meanwhile with the bet I had made with Gilly at the back of my mind and almost no batting practice I decided to lay anchor, blocking the straight ones and pushing the wide balls for singles.  SMRH had a couple of Dave Carter-esque bowlers ie old, nay, experienced who put the ball on the spot time after time and I had great trouble getting them away.  Watching from the side line, dad looked decidedly bored but was soon woken up when I hit a six onto his car, which got a good laugh from the fielding side!

After I was out to a loose shot with 40 still needed, Akeel played a wide variety of well timed shots and led the team home with 9 overs to spare, with 5 wickets left.

As someone who has not seen the 3’s play for about 4 years, it was very obvious that Gilly’s new training regime is working well as the standard of cricket was exceedingly high, which is very promising given that the average age of the team must only be 16.  The fielding was
very sharp and definitely saved us at least 20 runs in the field.  The bowling and batting was also very well drilled and disciplined and all this was evidence to me that the money invested in the nets and bowling machine has been well spent.

Having averaged 50 (in one game) last year and 62 this year I’m very hopeful of having the clubs highest average for the second year running and I’m left wondering if I get a photo put up in the clubhouse or just a large trophy....[Ed – that’s enough.]

Scorecard 

RAINED OFF

140 for 2

Tom Barrett 60 not out, Ross Burns 58

home

(GL)

137 all out

Richard Metcalfe 3 for 20, Kyle Macpherson 2 for 12, Gair Currie 2 for 28

Your correspondent has it from a reliable source that J K Rowling has taken up her pen again. (Money must be tight).  She will shortly release the first in her new series of novels, 'Haris Aslam and the Philosopher's Biscuit.'  This will tell the exciting tale of the growing maturity of a young wizard leg spinner.  Can he put the Jammy Dodgers behind him and move on to more sophisticated fare in the form of Bath Olivers?  Will his nemesis Volde-everett corner all the custard creams first?  Will a Hermione figure cruelly decline his romantic offerings of a packet of chocolate Hob Nobs.  You have to admit it could easily outsell her previous relatively modestly successful oeuvre.   

Unaware of his impending celebrity, JK's new hero was on parade this afternoon at Grange Loan along with some other young wizards as together with their older muggle type team-mates, Carlton 3s took on their counterparts from MDAFS.  Rumours were rife that JK was watching from the Hogwarts on the GL hill.  If she was, then all the spells were certainly working.  Wingardum leviosa - and all that cod-Latin stuff.  

At 1.00pm Akeel's worries were all behind him: not only had his selected XI turned up on time (itself a minor miracle), but they had engaged enthusiastically in their practice drills before an admiring but mystified MDAFS audience.  And most significantly he had (through the promise of significant financial outlay) managed to recruit a professional scorer and match reporter.

Even with all this going for him, he lost the toss.  For goodness sake - How? - had Haris failed to give him the right spell? (Carlton captains, for future reference the required spell is turnupius headsiosa).  MDAFS chose to bat on Moon's carefully nurtured strip of prime South Edinburgh real estate.  Not surprising, anyone would - but they then proceeded to bat in a truly self-destructive manner.  Or could it be that someone was casting spells? Wingardum leviosa.

Known big hitter Darryn Kidd led the way, giving square leg a simple catch in the second over - required spell poppius simplus catchiosa.   From then on it was mostly an exhibition of missing straight ones - required spell playroundus straightiosa.  Only Gerry Tetley, reportedly playing for the first time in several years, put up any kind of resistance to the magic to reach 32, but poppius simplus catchiosa finally got him and he lobbed one to Haris in Kyle's first over.  Haris excelled with 1 for 16 off his 9 overs including 4 maidens, but Richard Metcalfe also bowled well to deliver 3 for 20 with 2 each for Kyle and Gair.  A smart catch by Ross Burns and a stunning direct hit run out by Kyle are also well worth a mention.   

The innings closed on 137.  Notwithstanding 137's special quality as a prime number, on a Moon special track,  with the outfield freshly cut that morning, it didn't really seem enough, unless MDAFS had serious spells of their own.  

At the fall of the last wicket, Haris could pursue his quest for biscuits in the tea table.  No spells needed.  Star rating this week went to the chocolate mini rolls.  Of course the more legally minded dog walkers in attendance reminded us of the great court room drama that surrounds the differentiation of what is a biscuit and what is a cake - .  This inconsistency is something JK must resolve in her next volume 'Haris Aslam and the Chamber of Gingernuts' or the third in the series 'Haris Aslam and the Prisoner of Abernethies'.  

It didn't need much wizardry for Carlton to overhaul MDAFS small total.  A well paced and chanceless 60* from Tom Barrett (left - required spell - battiosa classiosa) and an explosive 58 from Ross Burns (required spell - hittiosa biggiosa) (58 from 30 balls - 3 sixes) were enough for Carlton to win by 8 wickets in the 19th over as the sky darkened overhead [er ...where else could it darken..................] 

And so there was time to watch the last stages of the Open as an unheard-of South African won it by 7 wickets.....or something, who cares?.   

No biscuits were harmed in the making of this match report.   PS - Readers with an interest in biscuits similar to Haris' might find this website of interest.   Others will just be amazed.

(Akeel nobly added to his bill for services rendered by using his professional scorer and match reporter for some more menial duties in putting GL back to the state in which it was found.  An itemised invoice will be submitted shortly - prompt payment would be appreciated.  Wingardum leviosa.)

Scorecard 

Photos

138 all out

Peter Swan 3 for 23

161 all out

Ross Burns 76, Peter Swan 25

Scorecard 

196 for 7

Fraser Allardice 2 for 18, Richard Metcalfe 2 for 26

262 for 7

Charles Paterson 126, Zaki Yusaf 42 not out

Scorecard 

177 all out

Haris Aslam 4 for 37

away

193 for 9

Grant Newman 56, Neil Browning 38, Fergus Whatley 32, Ross Burns 25

Scorecard 

179 for 6

Kyle Macpherson 32, Alex Fedenczuk 26*, Zaki Yusaf 24

home

(M)

75 all out

Neil Browning 3 for 18, Angus Rive 2 for 13, Chayank Gosain 2 for 26

No, your eyes are not deceiving you, this is an actual match report written by a member of the 3rd XI. I must apologise if this does not live up to the usual standard of the now legendary Fantasy Bob’s match reports, but this reporter shall do his utmost to make it entertaining.

The team made the short trip from our home at Grange Loan, to the unpredictability of the Meadows. Our worst fears were confirmed when the pitch looked extremely green, and would not have looked out of place on the PGA tour, with a large left to right break at one end. This seemed to excite the visiting Falkland captain, and he duly won the toss and bowled. Unfortunately for him, the sun soon came out and batting was not quite as difficult as it normally is on the Meadows, even though the outfield was remarkably thick.

Grant and Saif made sensible and solid starts, both playing very nicely especially with some of Grant’s cover drives. I’m sure that there would have been plenty more runs scored if they could have kept avoiding the rough, however it did stop more than a few boundaries. Saif fell unluckily to some quick thinking by the Falkland skipper, who was keeping and waited for Saif to just lift his foot before whipping the bails off. Kyle was in next, fresh from his successes against the mighty European cricketing nations. Some glorious shots ensued, before Grant fell to the Meadows pitch, one just holding up and he spooned one into the air. Kyle continued to play his shots and was well supported by Neil, until the latter was bowled. Soon after Mo fell, and Zaki came in. We expected the usual lackadaisical fireworks from him, but we were shocked to see him play out a ‘test match’ style over, to a very slow left armer, blocking away the deliveries that actually had the pace to reach him. Kyle fell fairly soon after this for a good innings, especially on the meadows. Out came Fed, and another wicket was anticipated soon. However some solid defence, and a few attacking shots kept the score ticking over. After Zaki fell to a yorker that came back off his toes, Carlton’s premier all-rounder, Allardice, strolled to the wicket with about 7 overs to go. Some acceleration was needed, and this pair brought it, with some lofted drives, and a couple of pull shots apiece for boundaries. We eventually finished on 179 for 6 with Fraser and Fed unbeaten on 13 and 26 respectively, and Kyle top scoring with 32. A good batting performance from the side, and many more runs would have come with a nicer outfield I am sure.

After a decent tea (though Akeel was sorely missed) Falkland began their run chase. Our fielding in the first few overs, could probably be attributed to too much tea (I may be being nice here) and a few errors crept in. Luckily our star fielder was alert when the Falkland Skipper took a very risky single, and even Fed couldn’t muck up gathering and demolishing the stumps. That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the innings. Our bowling became tighter, as did our fielding. Cheeky bowled two batsmen around their legs while Mo backed him up without any reward.

Then Neil came on for some of his quick off-cutters, which seemed a very good call from Grant. Some good lines and a bit of turn enticed a slash to Mo at point, a top edge gathered by Fed and a good catch by Iain Martin at a deepish mid off. Some very good bowling by the Aussie and he got the wickets he deserved.

Finally it was left to an exceptional run out by Saif from fly slip, a wicket for Iain and some fantastic leg spin bowling from Angus to finish off the tail, Angus finishing with 2 wickets. Apart from about 5 overs at the beginning of the Falkland innings, Carlton looked like the only winners but many thanks to the opposition for an enjoyable game.

Scorecard

158 all out

Matt Wells 33, Neil Browning 24

home

(P)

128 all out

Nick Hunt 4 for 25, Neil Browning 2 for 11

Scorecard

235 all out

Fraser Allardice 4 for 52

239 for 5

Grant Newman 80, Zaki Yusaf 60 not out, Neil Browning 36

Keen Carlton Festival goers will know that the centre piece of the International Festival's drama programme is a new play by the National Theatre of Scotland. 'Caledonia' tells the story of the Darien scheme, a disastrous venture in the late 17th Century to found a Scottish trading colony in Central America. Your correspondent found the piece enjoyable enough but lightweight, without much by way of character development or deeper historical context. There was no examination of the possibility (now accepted by scholars) that cricket equipment could have been taken by the settlers to their brave new world. Given that the extreme humidity of the Panama isthmus was one of the factors that did for the Scots, conditions might have been helpful to swing bowling. But we shall never know. Instead, the audience was invited to draw comparisons between the national bankruptcy caused by the silver tongue of financial wizard William Paterson, and more recent financial disasters at the hand of similarly silver tongued members of the financial community. Frankly your correspondent didn't need 2 hours in the stifling heat of the Kings Theatre to recognise this point. But he was struck by the vivid similarity to other more recent events which historians have so far not addressed. Fantasy Bob may not be as silver tongued as the smooth suited lizards of the banking brotherhood, but at the start of the season he persuaded many foolish Carlton investors to speculate wildly with their limited fantasy funding and include him in their team. Some even nominated him their skipper. What reckless foolishness! How could so many apparently sensible folk lose all reason? Only a tragedian as great as Sophocles could do justice to this mass delusion.

Mention of the great Greek playwright reminds your correspondent that after his death there were several accounts of how he died. Perhaps the most famous is the suggestion that he died from the strain of trying to recite a long sentence from his play Antigone without pausing to take a breath. Your correspondent rejects any suggestions that his own long winded recitations in Carlton's club rooms from his own match reports are a danger to his own well being. [Maybe not - but they are certainly life threatening to the audience. Ed]

However Sophocles was not in the mind of Carlton's 3rd XI as they made the journey across town to Leith Links to take on a Leith FAB side still traumatised by conceding 441 to Carlton earlier in the season. Wholesale call offs from the selectors' carefully crafted team meant that only Cheeky and Neil Browning survived from the earlier XI. The mandate was simple 2 points necessary to secure the Division 5 crown. But skipper Grant made it clear to his troops that he would be satisfied with nothing less than 20.

As the traumatised souls of LFABs emerged from the Pavilion, relief spread across their frightened faces when they noted that neither of the Carlton centurions of the earlier encounter, Ross Burns and Nick Hunt, was in our number. Their relief soon spread to ecstatic mirth when they saw the shambling figure of Fantasy Bob himself in the squad. Perhaps the comedies of Aristophanes would be a better guide to the afternoon's proceedings than the tragedies of Sophocles. This thought steeled their resolve and having won the toss, LFAB chose to bat on a wicket that looked pretty much like Leith wickets always do ie something old something borrowed and something that the dog walker should have picked up. The long and short of it - Bob and Fraser - opened the bowling. Regular readers of these pages will not be surprised to learn that Bob was annoyingly accurate but luckless. [And they won't be surprised to see the zero in the wickets column either. Get on with it. Ed]

Fraser was uncharacteristically wayward at first, but broke through in the 7th over when he tempted opener Williams into a false shot to give Ian a catch at mid on. Skipper Macord will be runaway winner of ESCA's coveted most elegant headgear award as his battered brown Paddington Bear hat with chin strap drew gasps of admiration from not only those on the field but passers by. But, undistracted by this adulation, he and Fraser then delivered the key partnership of the LFAB innings, taking the score to 150 in the 27th over before Ian had Fraser caught for 48 by Angus at mid on. Wickets then fell more regularly, with Fraser coming back to take 3 more to finish with 4 for 52, including Macord, caught for a fine and chanceless 87, and 2 for 48 for Neil. Overall, however there were too many bad balls offered up by Carlton's bowling and although no catches were dropped, the fielding was at times a bit lackadaisical.

There were distractions. Despite the advantages of youth, Zaki is rarely lightning in the field, but generally things coming straight at him are stopped. But in a moment worthy of the founder of comedy Aristophanes himself, he failed completely to deal with the pages of the Daily Record as they billowed in the wind across the ground - straight through his legs and rolled on for four over the mid off boundary. Apparently this incident will feature in Mr Bean's forthcoming film - Mr Bean at Extra Cover. Also in a true homage to Greek drama the action was stopped from time to time to allow the chorus of dog walkers and pram pushers of all sizes and shapes to make their way across the ground and comment on the action. This right of way has been asserted since the time of the Greeks and is thought to be the inspiration for a work by Euripedes only fragments of which have survived - Iphegenia at Leith Links. Despite these disturbances, FABs ended up 235 all out - a fair total on a wicket which didn't seem all that great to bat on, although it didn't really give the bowlers all that much. It would be a good chase to overhaul it.

Grant and Craig started the chase. Craig give a sharp return catch in the second over to leave him the afternoon free for his new found enthusiasm for umpiring. After a sticky start Neil came and gradually got the measure of the bowling. A 50 partnership looked good for more when he pushed young Mark Watt back, also to be caught and bowled. 72 for 2 after 18 and things were pretty evenly matched. However Fraser went quickly, bowled round his legs by Watt - a most unusual bowler in that the Chinaman from round the wicket is his stock ball. This brought clown prince Zaki to the crease. Which Zaki would turn up? Fears were eased with his first scoring shot, a languid and scorching cover drive for 4. And he just got better from that moment on. A fine partnership of 89 with Grant then followed, both players taking good care of the bad balls and playing to their strengths. Grant was caught for 80 off occasional bowler Davies. A first class captain's innings and a good way to end his first season at Carlton. Liam, perhaps overexcited by over indulgence at the tea table, went for a suicidal single and perished. Had Sophocles been aware of cricket (which to his shame he appears not to have been) he might well have made good use of its metaphors in his tragedies - for example his hero Oedipus instead of blinding himself at discovering that he had killed his father and married his mother, would surely have pushed one straight to mid off and called for a hopeless single. Not Oedipus Rex but Oedipus RO for a duck. Now - that's what I call tragedy. [For goodness' sake. What are you on? Ed] Anyway this brought Angus in with 9 overs left and 55 needed. Nae danger - as the local patois of Leith would have it. He and Zaki guided us confidently home with Angus firing off a huge 6 in the second last over to bring up the victory. Zaki not out for an truly fine 60 and Angus for 28.

20 points and the championship secured. Hooray. Laurel crowns to the victors. An excellent run chase - a solid win. A captain's innings set it up. But Angus and Zaki had to deliver - Fantasy Bob was next in and that would have been truly nerve wracking. Thanks to FABS for the headgear display, and for a fine match and of course to the ladies in the Pavilion who did their usual good job at tea time.

And that dear readers is the end of the season. Just a small reminder - there are only 118 days till Christmas. Copies of Sophocles Cricket Plays are expected to be this year's hot items.

Scorecard